Wondering what I have been up to?  Another weird art obsession...pillows-so much fun.  They are up on etsy but not selling, have to figure out a better way to market stuff..these are so fun!

Just found some old art in the basement...that was fun!I have been looking at ways to market my art and taking little webinars ( all which lead to the standard, now let me tell you about my online training..all this is a value of 1200. but today .you can get it for 899.) now, I really don't mind people doing their thing and making a living-but isn't value arbitrary?  I f I put a value on my art that seems outrageous to me, would I still sell it?  Would I sell more because of perceived value?  Should I make up content or make art that caters to an audience instead of making what I want to create?  Is that how one makes a living doing this?  It might be a really interesting experiment to do ...If one, for instance, did some fun paintings with inspirational sayings and marketed to a very select audience, I wonder what would happen?  But would I feel authentic doing that?  And does it matter....lots of questions....

Something has taken over my brain and I have been making dolls for the last couple of weeks non stop.  Its been so much fun creating all these different little characters, painting them sewing and stuffing them.  I was actually gleeful for about 10 days loving what was happening...and then THAT thought came.....why am I doing this?  What am I getting from this? Why am I wasting my time?  Why don't I get a job? What am I trying to prove? Why aren't I painting? I am not a doll maker, what the hell am I doing???????  My brain-like everyone else's, has its go to tapes of self disgust that are triggered, at least for me, when I am in the zone and happy and then suddenly realize its not WORTH something I am not MAKING MONEY.....I am trying to just have the feelings and keep going..I listed a couple of these on etsy today (another mind trap-why aren't I selling anything? Why do I even try) and I will try just to let it go and keep working....and love that gleeful state just for the state itself

Jan 1st!!!  Happy New Year!  This year I promise to do more of what I love and quit thinking that  that is is somehow unworthy because it isn't bringing money. That I may be wasting time that could go to pursuit of cold hard cash.  So I spent ten minutes with one of my favorite things-old ladies on garbage bags with charcoal.