Tuesday, September 30, 2008

September 20, 2008

My little brothers birthday! HOORAY!!!! I am the smarter funnier one.

My friends and I are having a
Christmas boutique so I am busy thinking about cars and stuff so here is Santa-what I really wanted to do is scrooge but I realized I don't think I have EVER READ the book-just seen the millions of movies and I need to see what parts and descriptions hit me. That would be a great Christmas book for this year but it is awfully long which would be expensive to copy with picks and covers and all.....and this is what I think of while the stock market slips silently into the ether

Monday, September 29, 2008

September 29 2008
Does any one else feel unsafe?? I want to run back into old stories and dreams and stay there for awhile-it is no wonder I have been re-reading-for the 30th time-this old series of books that I loved when I was a child. They were written in the late 40's and are about this wonderful,loving family. It didn't even occur to me until this moment why I fled into the pages of my beloved comfort....so on I will go into the world of old Christmas..This is small and I think I need to do a big one so the details are easier to get at. Perhaps tomorrow I will attempt Scrooge-it is safe there, it is a comfort.

and Paul Newman dying as if the world wasn't upsetting enough!! Who is left to be the strong, determined male-someone we can look up to and emulate..horror of horrors --will I have to be one of those people now???

PS can you tell the difference??????

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Sept 23, 2008

Is it Halloween or have they just heard about the financial crisis?? I don't ever remember feeling this unsafe in my life..and I have a total lack of faith in the leaders we have. It makes me sad. Today I got up and ran and did the things one does to get two kids and an absent minded husband (honey...have you seen my-insert anything you wear upon your body here-)to school and driving home I got this really icky feeling -as if nothing I do means anything.....it was just one of those things...I had an audition earlier and every one was talking about what they were in.......made me feel like I miss out-anyway I carried that gloom right with me and wouldn't you know it- couldn't find a parking spot,the cashier was a complainer and a gloom monger (apparently we should watch our kids because there are perverts and gangs and bad schools everywhere) Oh my GOD!!!! I know you attract what you think about but what if you are feeling bad about what you are thinking about and don't know how to change it. Maybe it was the angels telling me that the good news is I wasn't HER!!!! Came home and ate a salad-cause of course I also feel I am way to huge to live..but when I sat down to paint it felt so much better.......and even though I felt I had to paint SERIOUSLY today I really loved this little guy!!!

Monday, September 22, 2008

September 22, 2008

Halloween is coming up !! this is my favorite holiday so I just whipped up a card-I don't know if I like it....but I was determined to finish something today as I feel I have sooooo many irons in the fire and none of them are going anywhere. I feel kind of achy and I am doing laundry and it is gray out and I feeling weird..wonder why....could Bill have possibly made decaf again this morning?? I just had a funny idea for a new card although I have an old one that is so cute I can't believe I did it. I am rambling a bit here but that's life-sometimes one just has to ramble..

better go up and finish laundry and then finish sewing Halloween costumes...........

Friday, September 19, 2008

Sept 18, 2008

This is an old one as I am working on getting a fellowship application in by 2:00 and as you can see I am avoiding..why am I avoiding I ask myself??? I Think its because I have to write an artist statement and I have read alot of them and they go into the breakdown of men and culture, the psychological ramifications of taking a breath on the polluted orb we call Earth, how can I compete with I am really starting to value and love the spirit I see in everyones eyes-the things we try to hide because we don't understand that we all carry it. The lines and wear in a face that such beauty pours forth it makes one want to cry-the sheer pleasure of squeezing out a tube of paint,,of being carried off into someone Else's story for a while and loving them even more because you have felt with them-the tears in someones eyes who sees your work because they understand they have been there that is their grandmother their aunt who they lost and hold in their memories--sappy huh?? How to put that in words so that the leather clad, highly fashionable committee who came out to see My work a couple years ago when I was a finalist would actually pay attention to it-instead of asking me if I ever thought about doing abstracts (?-refer to the work around Mr I have cool glasses and a leather pant suit) Oh well-perhaps I WILL just pour out my heart

PS Finished and sent-do I really need the recognition to feel good about myself-well, it would be Really really NICE-AND i COULD FINALLY BUY SOME NEW GOUACHE INSTEAD IF DIPPING MY BRUSH INTO A DRIED UP TUBE

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

September 17, 2008

Gouache on canvas board-what a great combination-I thought it wouldn't work but I think it did!!! I am calling it "Third Shift". Speaking of shifts, I feel like I am going through a major one-I love what I am doing- i feel like I am gettin better at it and I keep getting more ideas-only I have to re-haul my ways-I have to clean up the sty I call my studio and quit working on the kitchen table-what I really need is a huge barn with three different areas to work in. I am truly indifferent to the cooking eating cleaning of life that must go on - it keeps getting in my way!!! It is a beautiful day, it smells like possibilities and wonder-breath it in!!!!!!!

Monday, September 15, 2008

Sept 15, 2008

I went to an art fair yesterday to scope it out for next year. It was in a really ideal location-very mellow and pretty with lots of places to sit..really swell. I talked to a few of the artists and got some great info from some of them. ' And I learned something today' (shades of South Park) 300. to 650. paintings really don't sell at an outdoor art fair. Perhaps these people gather fans who will follow and then buy later but it was a bit confusing..things that I loved I couldn't afford and I would have liked to have some of it surrounding me. There fore I think the idea of small affordable 'tastes' of art are really worthy. There was the COOLEST sculpture that was also a pot holder of a lady laying down and the potted plant would be like a hat-it was totally groovy and at 150. not a bad price, but who brought the truck to haul it out????? Really made me do some thinking and I had booth envy-these are really MY people-I like to hang out in a tent and talk..why haven't i DONE IT ALL SUMMER...PONDER THAT..so today i had to paint a lady..just for fun-I am gonna have a whole wall full of fake ancestors at this rate

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Sept 11 ,2008

This day always makes me a little sad and worn. At the same time I am so grateful for every breath I take and all the joys of my life. I will never be able to see any of the films they made about this day. It is too real too tragic and too...what is the word I want..sacred to me to see it depicted..it feels wrong.

Here is what has happened top my life so slowly I didn't even realize it. Instead of doing all the should chores that I MUST do-and paint if I have time I have completely flipped the formula and I LIKE it. Scrubbing a toilet than becomes something to do and get over with instead of something dreaded that keeps me away from my love. On a sad note, the little gallery I had stuff in for months is closing. I really liked knowing my stuff was out there-even if I only made a pittance-it was MY pittance.......well, when a door closes.....

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Sept 10, 2008

Am I getting redundant?? I think I had better change subject matter-but that warm fall feeling makes me so happy. On the other hand, it is kind of gray today and I feel achy-like flu-ey achy. I could have crawled back into bed happily and slept the day away..but i didn't. Maybe I should have cause I feel a great wave of tiredness hanging over me.....and I have to go pick up the kid. See thats why I paint vast fields in the sun-the illusion of peace as I do it...peace....

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

September 9th 2008

Wonderful, beautiful day. The leaves are not quite turning but I feel it in my heart!!! I should be getting in the car to pick up my daughter but I wanted to get this up cause i just finished it and I really like it (shades of Sally Field) It is sooo peaceful to me I want to go walk around the grounds and hear the birds and smell the trees. Sometimes-when I get off my own case- I think about how truly wonderfully lucky I am and it just amazes me...what I miss each day but not just stopping for a second taking a breath and looking around...and on that note I must dash for the car eeekkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Sept 5 2008

Had an interesting talk last night about what we do to let ourselves 'deserve' to do what we love. That somehow we all felt there must be an element of sweat or payment or sacrifice before we get to do/buy/get what we want. Does it feel wasteful to go to a museum do my art see a movie? I used to feel it was, or that it must be a 'special' occasion. I even feel guilty when I read because aren't I just wasting time. Then the other night I was loading the dish washer and feeling harried and harassed and that I had to get this done to get on to.....what..it stopped me dead. Get on to what...to where..where did I think I had to Is there someplace I feel that I am SUPPOSED to be something somewhere I am suppose to land and then I am done, I have won the game. I think I am going to take my toys and play in another game for awhile-just a place where I do what I and when I want be who I am and not care. What a release-what if I just had to be here now.......and the next second...and the next....

Thursday, September 4, 2008

September 4th 2008

What Doesn't Count...

I have been working on this little book project which follows the fairy godmother character and a friend of mine on a little journey. I made the fairy godmother all be hand-no machine for me...I had so much fun-such sheer joy doing this . One reason because I hope it will bring a little smile to someone who needs it but the other was the sheer fun of doing something for fun-not for wondering how I can profit from it or could I market it or am I good enough just for the joy of making things. In fact I think I will have a business that says just that-Melinda Kordich:
I make things. At the same time I just finished a landscape that I really like and since I was on a self imposed time frame to get this done it just flew out of me.......meaning I didn't agonize over it. I just painted. The only complaint I have is there just isn't enough time-and really isn't that the BEST thing you could imagine from your work.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Sept 2, 2008

Oh blessed routine!!! Up at 530-work out,get kids up, make breakfast, drive to school and back home to paint. Man that feels good. Whipped out this little 6x6 this morning.
I don't let myself think because I am working on this other really involved project so I just forge ahead and paint. I also actually used some paint instead of being cheap and trying to save by using just a bit....and it works-boy, using a glob is really great, it really makes a difference-who knew?? I love not agonizing over a painting but just throwing it out there. That seems to be the most magic way to do it-talk about living in the moment....if we could do that with everything in life we would be so rich and content!!! I may even go back to putting things on ebay-its fun when they sell and who cares if they don't?? (Well, yes I do but since I don't have to see the peoples faces or hear their comments it is almost painless)