Thursday, July 23, 2009
I have been running around thinking if I do more things will come to me. The car needed something done to it and I felt that it was somehow my fault that the universe was punishing me. Somewhere, somehow the idea that I am not enough is so deep seeded in me that it rears its ugly head without me knowing, or despite my efforts. I see how I set myself up and yet somehow feel incapable of overcoming it. It is like a little fight in my soul with the good part yelling out for relief-and then I realize that it is all a part of me and I must embrace both sides in order to be whole. I must nurture the tender loving side because the dark can defeat it so easily. Why is it we don't rise against the tyrants? I think of the times when someone said something hurtful, or did something really awful and the fear of telling the truth was less than the overwhelming fear of the person. Why is that -these are questions I take way to seriously...maybe it is time to just let go and forget about the look of it and just live-
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Finished the hug one-I put iridescent white with a gold wax over it. I used Mica that I picked up from a river bed as a halo on the grandma. I really like what is happening with the wood-it adds to the skin texture in such a neat way. I am having way, way too much fun doing this and it just goes so well-so why do I feel bad about that-if it is too easy it won't be good????? I am trying to ignore that little imp and just move on with my work....
Sunday, July 19, 2009
What if you had to say goodbye? I mean really goodbye.. Never knowing if you would see the person again....How many times have we said good bye in our lives not realizing it was the last time. In the end maybe it is kinder. How many times have we said good by to a part of ourselves and didn't know it, but there is a strange aching that comes up in the dead of night trying to remind us..trying to get back to us.
I am experimenting with acrylic on wood-this still needs some work but I love the way it kind of haunts..just like those last moments with someone can haunt....
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Still playing with the idea of saints...I went to New York last week and reclaimed some of my soul. Such a wonderful thing to look back in appreciation instead of lack or despair, and finding it was still my city. Seeing my ghosts and embracing them. Hearing all the different languages like some kind of beautiful music as I walked the pavements......I loved all the faces-so many different stories, stupidly I did not bring my camera-although I did get a shot of the lady on the plane crocheting. Those were old and wrinkled and beautiful hands..I fell in love with the image, hopefully I can do justice to it. Some places are so dear to your heart, you are such a part of them that they will always live in you....and when you are gone they still live on.......
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
I have been working with the idea that regular folks are saints.....what if we were all an icon...that lead me to working on cheap pine with watered down acrylics so it looks like the whole thing aged. I love how the gold just shines in old icons that have not been restored...sometimes it is chipping off or just warmly glowing as if it is alive. It is making me really happy-just the suggestion of the figure and expression surrounded by the glow of ones own soul....cool.