Thursday, December 10, 2009
Last minute art fair tomarrow so I am finishing these paper machie things-I have enough cards and paintings and I want to see if this new thing will sell-anyway I had a ton of fun making them although I don't think my family will ever forgive me for taking over the kitchen and the dining room and the downstairs-there is no surface that one can sit down at-hopefully I can finish all this and find a better way to utilize the space I have downstairs But something inside me actually delights in having all this mess and projects in different stages of being and paints laying out..I need a barn, I really do. Preferably one with a heater and a sink and two horses and a couple dogs and some cats...
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Can't, stop ,making ,things.................well I guess there are worse things to I could do. Both kids are home with Mono and I am having sympathy tiredness!!!!!! I don't know where I am taking these little paper mache ideas but they are coming out so sweet and it is kinda fun! Lots of messy ideas laughing in my head ready to come into the world....
Thursday, November 5, 2009
This is what I am doing when I should be cleaning or filling out applications or painting more. But it was fun and I think she is so sweet. It has been a long time since I posted but I have painted everyday getting stuff on ebay and trying to squeeze 1000 ideas into one day and that is never successful. I listened to this guy on NPR this morning he runs Operation Hope and was a wonderful speaker. He basically was saying we have to re prioritize and that the economy didn;t fail it was greed driven and that how we were raised the latest generation-as managers and not leaders. He pointed out the people who had IDEAS and developed them are the ones that change the world-that all too many times we just go in the direction that the crowd does in order to make money--instead of living our passion first ourideas and values first. Really made me think alot. It was one of those stay in the car moments
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Took a little fantasy break today. I got so involved with painting that I totally burned my daughters lunch!! Sometimes I just like to go off into my own world..it is nice there. Glitter is everywhere and my imagination knows no bounds-and then the fire alarm goes off.........
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Had a wonderful reception last night for the art show Shiny at St Thomas..really neat people there. I decided I am getting my stuff out there a lot more. I really really like meeting artists and seeing their stuff and coming up with new inspiration. We meet a couple that were just so cool..and full of life and experiences and joy. I would like to grow up to bbe them!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Hey, I have no idea why this is underlining but what the heck it makes me feel very important!!!!! This is what happens when you mix me and plaster tape-Folksy sculptures!!! Full of glitter and love Yea!!! Such a nice change of pace-speaking of change of pace I walked a Labyrinth today and it was really cool..did it on a whim. I think we should all do more on a whim-I think its our souls nudging us onward!!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
I just noticed as I was reading back over my old posts how terribly whiny and introspective I sound.....and I am funny !!! What happened to that part of me..I love that part of me. So I have decided to be lighter and more humorous-develop that side of my self , shine a light on it. And of course now I find no humorous things to say!! So I will sit with a grin like this woman and just enjoy my Saturday and not dwell on the universal truths and how I fit them into my life..really..who cares????? Just sing a little ditty and be happy. They may cart me off to the crazy house, but it might be an adventure!!
and who are THEY
Thursday, September 17, 2009
I am dropping off art today for a show at St Thomas-seems so odd. At first I really really liked what it came out like-now I am not so sure-once it was done it was like a tooth that got pulled. Its out and over and I can't remember the ache. I guess it is a matter of moving on with the work. I have been spending my time doing these little Halloween cards and paintings that are selling on ebay..nicely selling..and I really like it yet I miss SERIOUS art...whats that about?? Isn't art art?? Why do I feel the easier it comes the worse it must be??
I want to be all things..well, who says i can't???
I want to be all things..well, who says i can't???
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
It has been way too long...I have been busy with painting..and stupid worrying...I wonder sometimes if this is just a bad habit-Its like my default button goes right to the anxiety. And it really doesn't matter if I am not in the middle of a problem-I will find one to fret about. So I decided to take time off from this pattern, and boy is it hard. Yesterday went great until about 5 when it felt like a steamroller drove over my body and I took a two hour nap!!!!! Today I worked on this and I was happy and energized.......she isn't finished yet but sometimes looking at a painting this way gives me some distance to really LOOK. Maybe that iis what I need in my life..if I could step away and really look I bet I would be overwhelmed at the wealth I would find.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
I envision these hanging like this on a wall in a show that is coming up-I love them they are 4x6 charcoal and gold acrylic paint and some are gold leafed. It has been a great learning and inspiring period working on something kind of out of my field-and finding my skills adapt and expand accordingly. I have been working on wood and cardboard and gesso surfaces and each one gives me new life to deal with-they wood has been amazing for skin and depth-and may I add awfully cheap-and it all circles back to my souls theme, which inspires all my work.
This summer has been, I think the most creative and worryless (is that a word? It is now) that i have ever had with my art.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I have been running around thinking if I do more things will come to me. The car needed something done to it and I felt that it was somehow my fault that the universe was punishing me. Somewhere, somehow the idea that I am not enough is so deep seeded in me that it rears its ugly head without me knowing, or despite my efforts. I see how I set myself up and yet somehow feel incapable of overcoming it. It is like a little fight in my soul with the good part yelling out for relief-and then I realize that it is all a part of me and I must embrace both sides in order to be whole. I must nurture the tender loving side because the dark can defeat it so easily. Why is it we don't rise against the tyrants? I think of the times when someone said something hurtful, or did something really awful and the fear of telling the truth was less than the overwhelming fear of the person. Why is that -these are questions I take way to seriously...maybe it is time to just let go and forget about the look of it and just live-
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Finished the hug one-I put iridescent white with a gold wax over it. I used Mica that I picked up from a river bed as a halo on the grandma. I really like what is happening with the wood-it adds to the skin texture in such a neat way. I am having way, way too much fun doing this and it just goes so well-so why do I feel bad about that-if it is too easy it won't be good????? I am trying to ignore that little imp and just move on with my work....
Sunday, July 19, 2009
What if you had to say goodbye? I mean really goodbye.. Never knowing if you would see the person again....How many times have we said good bye in our lives not realizing it was the last time. In the end maybe it is kinder. How many times have we said good by to a part of ourselves and didn't know it, but there is a strange aching that comes up in the dead of night trying to remind us..trying to get back to us.
I am experimenting with acrylic on wood-this still needs some work but I love the way it kind of haunts..just like those last moments with someone can haunt....
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Still playing with the idea of saints...I went to New York last week and reclaimed some of my soul. Such a wonderful thing to look back in appreciation instead of lack or despair, and finding it was still my city. Seeing my ghosts and embracing them. Hearing all the different languages like some kind of beautiful music as I walked the pavements......I loved all the faces-so many different stories, stupidly I did not bring my camera-although I did get a shot of the lady on the plane crocheting. Those were old and wrinkled and beautiful hands..I fell in love with the image, hopefully I can do justice to it. Some places are so dear to your heart, you are such a part of them that they will always live in you....and when you are gone they still live on.......
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
I have been working with the idea that regular folks are saints.....what if we were all an icon...that lead me to working on cheap pine with watered down acrylics so it looks like the whole thing aged. I love how the gold just shines in old icons that have not been restored...sometimes it is chipping off or just warmly glowing as if it is alive. It is making me really happy-just the suggestion of the figure and expression surrounded by the glow of ones own soul....cool.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
So I went to the museum with my lovely friend J and we had a glorious time but once again I came home with way too many ideas-one was to create icons of older gals using wood instead of canvas. So I went to Lowes and asked the man to cut me some 5x 7 out of pine-which he could not do because it was too small-so I told him to do his best. Then I came home and had to attack one right away-I may sand it a little I may gold leaf it, I may add a layer of copper-but I do LIKE it......alot-there are so many places I can go from here. Love to get really excited and involved in new things...now, if I could only get my hands on a letterpress
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
I can't believe it has been as long as it has since I posted here. Well, summer is here and painting time has whittled down to almost nothing...ee..I miss it. After writing this I will try to squeeze some in, but the kids are playing that stoooopid W!! and the music is driving me bonkers.........Oh, to have a studio of ones own...ala Virginia Woolfe-of course she did walk into a lake never to return so maybe her room wasn;t so great after all......
Thursday, June 4, 2009
I put on face book: is it a rut if you are happy there?? Interesting responses- most people taking it to mean I was really in a rut-but I was saying I am really happy in my rut: painting, working out, its spring smell the flowers rut. However it did get me a date to go to my friends farm and ride her horses and see her chickens and kitties and dogs (yes she is living my dream life) I am so looking forward to it and to seeing her again-once more picking up dropped threads of my life. I am starting to feel as if I were smarter at making friends in my youth than I thought I was cause they are all drifting back into my life and it is good! It is a surprising and wonderful thing
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
I found the best paper-the old grocery bags!!Takes to char like a dream-I have so many ideas on what to do with this combo. I am mixed about the kids being home-can I still get things done-I may be able to do even more when I don't have to drive twice to school everyday. I have to find a better way to market myself over ebay and other sites, I think I will challenge myself to see just how much I can sell on ebay-even if it means painting to sell-just to see if it can really be exploted the way I think it can. I spent all day painting and putting stuff up on ebay and gold-leafing paintings for the ST Thomas show this fall-nice to have purpose!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Here's the thing- When you live your live trying to get approval from all others-trying to be LIKED-you lose the one persons approval that you really need-which is you own. Without that you do the approval dance forever-but how can one break away from what is so embedded in your personality-it feels so selfish to do what I want to do and yet it feels sooo good. What I am reclaiming from myself is wonderful-all the things I neglected on the way. Someone said think back when you were 11 -what did you want to be? How true are you to that? What did you lose along the way. These pieces came so easy and happily-so then that little part of me says-they must not be good-you must SUFFER in order for it to be worth it..but a bigger part of me is saying oh, bullshit-why can't there be joy instead-
Monday, May 25, 2009
OOh, my new series Saints Among Us!! Complete with halos and gold leaf- I like this guy a lot I am really getting into the charcoal. Gold leaf is hard and touchy but I like what it adds to the peice-this will go into a show later this fall.
I sat in the yard with a friend today and soaked up the sun! Last night we had a bonfire-all very lazy and good but man am I ready to work out and work on art and get back into the swing.....I have soooo many ideas and so little time
Thursday, May 21, 2009
This isn't finished-I am going to add a halo in gold leaf over the grandmas head-my version of an icon. But I like to stand back and look and study what I have done. Which is what I have been doing in my life lately-it is really strange how things seem to hit the fan at the same time-really making you look hard at things. Picking up old threads of my life that I have dropped and realizing they were a lot stronger than I ever realized. And looking at those that I thought were so strong which were not. What I have concentrated on and tried to support and that which has not served me and finding that I may be more important to myself in a calm way than I thought. I had such a wonderful coffee with someone I met when I was 16 and hadn't seen in years. This has been happening more and more in my life and it is really interesting and grounding. Maybe that's why I keep painting the past-it all leads to the present-and it can create something solid that I can build on.....
Monday, May 18, 2009
The nice thing about this is I can type away and never know who it touches. I have had two huge relationship issues in the last week. I know that these are things I need to face in my life-it would be so much easier if they just went away...but life has decided that not only do I need to learn this lesson-but I need to learn it now and in spades. It is emotionally painful yet at the same time some part of me feels really free as if the cage that I put myself in has been opened, and I can finally fly-which is also scary. I have realized that being alone can be so rewarding and one of the reasons that finally is becoming clear to me is that when you are alone you don't have to constantly adapt to someone else. You just are. Alot of my life has been pleasing others-and picking people who enjoy that. It is neither good nor bad but just is. But now that is is a was and things are much different.......much different and less dramatic, and I like it-but those around me don't. Whew-these are hard lessons-especially when you love people and don't mean to hurt them but you do .............
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
A couple of little cards-now that my thumb is better I can work alot more-HOORAY!!! I have been thinking alot lately about being kind to myself and it is a scary thing-what if one could accomplish just as much-perhaps more-by being gentle with oneself instead of doing it out of desperation..maybe that is not the correct wording....but sometimes it feels as if I am painting or working or cleaning to prove how okay I am . What if I lived from the place that I am okay-in fact, pretty damn fabulous without having to PROVE it every second-what a feeling of freedom that would be. What if the whole world was full of people who got up every morning thinking-wow!! I look great and I am pretty fabulous!!! I think that was the reason we were put here.....and then we started competing and hating and longing...ish. So for today I am going to believe I am one fantastic chick and see where it takes me!!!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Mr and Mrs Cardinal-I love these birds-they shepard in spring and follow me on runs-they are sooo cheerful when it is cloudy and drizzly like today.....Just got back from a run at the club-it cleared my stupid head which has been raging with thoughts all day-not great or productive thoughts either..maybe its the grayness of the day...or my seemingly lack of time. I feel so energized now and want to race to the drawing board but I must pick up my daughter...and something for dinner...and put the clothes away-------
Saturday, April 25, 2009
I am having alot of fun with this-playing with a new way of seeing things. That seems to be stemming from an experience I had recently trying on a shirt. I thought this was such a cool shirt and I tried it on- bear in mind that I have huge body image issues-I know, I know, I hate the word issues, but there it is. So I came out of the dressing room and looked in the mirror and was appalled-I looked hideous, huge ,shapeless....I was so overwhelmed with hatred for my huge body..........and as the day went on a thought occured to me...could it be THE SHIRT-could it be cut so it fit me really funcky and it was not me at all-I quickly emailed my fashion diva friend who assured me that yes it was the shirt-that tall gals like her and I often try on things that were cut for shorter gals so the waist line hits us in a wierd place.........oh. my GOD!!! What a thought.........then I saw a short film I made four moinths ago and I looked well-thin........I would have never said there is a fat girl who needs to lose about twenty before she goes out in public...I remember how HUGE I felt and that is no relation to the reality...so..how do our beliefs color out world-what if we dropped them..what would happen..so I am trying it with painting and it is sooo much fun!!!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
I looked at a picture of my little painting and then improved it-it never comes out like I think it should in my head-I am going back and just doing one colors for everything and see what that looks like-I have my thumb back not working perfectly but it will be better and better. It is so great to be able to type with two hands. I have missed blogging and I have missed painting but there just doesn't seem time enough in the day to do everything that is in my head....I guess that is a blessing. I have uge ambitious ideas and I want to get on them except my house is a pit after three thumbless weeks....oh, the sacrifice..I want a huge barn for a studio......then I wouldn't have to face my house....
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
which is how i feel most of the time-but if i reverse my attitude about it- can't that be an exciting thing...cause when we are finished aren't we, well...dead
cast off tomorrow-oh the joy of hooking my own bra-of using capitals on the keyboard-of folding clothes and opening tubes of paint.................