Saturday, April 25, 2009
I am having alot of fun with this-playing with a new way of seeing things. That seems to be stemming from an experience I had recently trying on a shirt. I thought this was such a cool shirt and I tried it on- bear in mind that I have huge body image issues-I know, I know, I hate the word issues, but there it is. So I came out of the dressing room and looked in the mirror and was appalled-I looked hideous, huge ,shapeless....I was so overwhelmed with hatred for my huge body..........and as the day went on a thought occured to me...could it be THE SHIRT-could it be cut so it fit me really funcky and it was not me at all-I quickly emailed my fashion diva friend who assured me that yes it was the shirt-that tall gals like her and I often try on things that were cut for shorter gals so the waist line hits us in a wierd place.........oh. my GOD!!! What a thought.........then I saw a short film I made four moinths ago and I looked well-thin........I would have never said there is a fat girl who needs to lose about twenty before she goes out in public...I remember how HUGE I felt and that is no relation to the reality...so..how do our beliefs color out world-what if we dropped them..what would happen..so I am trying it with painting and it is sooo much fun!!!