There is no finish line, there is no end, its all about process and growing.  I keep thinking there will be a moment when you WIN, when you hit the point where everything from here on will be golden.  When you decide who exactly you are, what it is that you do, and where you are going.  For me, these are dangerous illusions.  I am learning you just have to be,right here, right now . There is no shame in continuing to go after your dreams.....even if you never get to where you thought you wanted to be, if you are lucky,you see all the things you are gathering along the way..........PROCESS-with a nod to KH who is wise.... 

Still in a creative funk but determined to keep working, despite that lack of confidence.  So I went up to the loft and worked on an altoid box project and then, finding myself cruelly judging , took a breath walked away and went back to my charcoal. That helped, and I wrote a bit and THAT helped....that and the knowledge of how lucky and privileged I am to have time to worry about things like this.  ONWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More pencil on garbage bags.....trying to draw even though I have no inspiration.  Maybe this is a good lesson for me.  Doing it despite feeling like a fake.  So weird, some days everything comes almost too easy, others you wonder if you ever ever HELD a pencil before.  I try to figure out why that happens.  Are the gods with you one day and not the other?  Was it more or less coffee??   Did you eat well? What changes-nothing I can put my finger on...and so you keep doing, bless the days when it flows, detach when it does not....not a bad way to live your live......