Made these little doors and took some pictures of the fairies in the garden!!!!
Monday, June 10, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
I have been thinking about hope lately. I am starting to think hope can be a very destructive soul sucking thing, as in I HOPE or I Wish. Because the truth of it when we say these things is that it ISN'T, or I DON"T have whatever the thing is......and the concrete evidence of- it is never gonna happen, baby-can be ignored,(because we are still wishing and hoping) and when it doesn't happen we can be crushed and bitter, kind of like the karma thing. I believe in being the truest, best you can be, but when you look around and see the people getting "ahead" and "making" it, it can be appalling-and the free rides these folks get cause they are rich or famous or can catch a ball is jaw-dropping. and then we say- karma will catch them up, or what you reap you will sow. These are little self righteous platitudes that make us feel -what superior, or better people? and then one morning you wake up, and you see a gray hair (or ten) and you look in the mirror and realize-REALLY realize that this is it, right now and you never thought it would be like THIS, and somehow you feel cheated-because your hopes and dreams and working towards something you love have been another set of illusions set down that you believed in. You get, finally, that you are never gonna catch up with that dangling carrot. and now you have a choice. You can live in the world of I wish or I hope or my ship will come in, you can live for what is now and try to find the best in it, or maybe-maybe you can find the strength to dig a little deeper and find a better way that is your own. Standing at this crossroads of sorts is a harsh and bitter and yet somehow CLEAN feeling. and crushing so crushing because you wonder....did I waste my time, or you try to figure out the whys-when there are really no reasons why, and you compare and contrast with others, when that is irrelevant and time wasting and distracts you from the real questions
How did it get to this?
what can I do now?
and does it really matter anyway?
because if it is all illusions.....maybe just make up some of your own
Saturday, May 25, 2013
So I started to think-how often do we belittle ourselves and our accomplishments? How often do we remember what a miracle we are? Do we ever look in a mirror and think"well, HELLO there you amazing one of a kind intelligent gorgeous creature you(without it being a exercise from some self-help book-and do NOT get me started on those)
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Yesterday I listened to a Ted Talk by Benjamin Zander, a conductor and speaker and such a spirit of life force that I think he changed my life just by watching him. He played a Chopin piece-one I have heard so many times in my life that never fails to move me, and he explained it-in a way that made me remember how much I loved playing the flute-I still have it and still play. It reminded me of how I can read music just like I read words and how natural that was-and how blessed I was to be able to do that. He reminded me how we touch each other and how important that is. Then I listened to another talk-about how to create your best life (most of these just make me crazy) but the speaker asked this question Am you willing to give up what you need to give up in order to have that life-
that means give up your negativity, your guilt, your sense of powerlessness, your shame, your victim-hood etc and then I thought how I cling to these things-''why
is that what I want to have as the definition of me-who am I waiting for to okay the things I want
this is me giving that all up-I just headed to the studio and did what I love best
and this is what I got to show for it
Sunday, May 12, 2013
and we are off!!!! These are my postcards and business cards-I spent two days combing through the Children s Writers and Illustrators Market and the internet and addressing them to kids magazines and to book publishers! I keep thinking how funny it is that i put out all my hopes and dreams and longings in these little missives-the design the art the layout all painstakingly and thoughtfully put together-and now I send them off into the world and wonder-
will anyone even notice-
will they sense the dreams they are holding in their hand
will they see-really see?????
Monday, May 6, 2013
I am having so much fun with theses-especially my wood burning tool. I hope I can sell these-I am needing to line my pockets a bit as work has been totally dead. But I keep coming up with ideas and see them through, hopefully all these little seeds I am planting will start blooming. Speaking of blooming it is finally warm out-on the day I feel so icky!!!!! Otherwise I would be out there working in this new yard of mine.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
and just for fun-look what I found in my yard!!!!
It is FINALLY spring
Friday, April 26, 2013
Thursday, April 25, 2013
I am working on getting a website for illustration up. An old dear friend is doing the grunt work while I sit back and paint and upload pictures to her. It is exciting to finally actually declare myself an illustrator next step-promotional postcards to publishers!!!!!!!!
I have been applying to all sorts of jobs because of a panic after the sewer pipe had to be replaced-but all of them come back with kind rejection letters
and it makes me think I should just do what I do best......like this stuff
and really really do it
and so I am starting!!!!
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Thursday, February 7, 2013
My favorite all time drawing, when I get our of my own way and just be and do I often look down at the finished product and think -that couldn't be ME-but it is!!!
My kids book is finished and with the editor and author-I will be published soon-there is some story I read where the said Now I am a book!!!! when they got the printed book in their hands-wish I could remember where that came from but
NOW I AM A BOOK!!!!!
I WANT MORE!!!!!
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Painting and pastels. I am really loving the pastels, however I dumped coffee on this one this morning...it was one of those days-every thing I picked up, used or tried to do was destroyed broke or went out of order-yet still I soldiered on......and poured another cup of joe. Some days are just like that, so you either have to laugh or go crazy and I am not soing cray any more!!!