Friday, January 19, 2018
I need to clean today and fold laundry and re calk the shower and hang the closet doors which all seem to have run off the rails at the same time. But instead I cleaned my studio sketched and painted-do I feel quilt???? NOT A BIT. How many times do we do what we want instead of what we HAVE to do-and where do the haves to actually get us, in the long run? A cleaner home and a more resentful soul.........
Wednesday, January 17, 2018
When we moved to out present house I gave away a ton of my books. Bill had been reluctant to move them all and I thought I should de- clutter and clean out my life ( as they say) to make room for new things.Once again I SHOULDED all over myself. I have missed every single volume that I gave away. I have been in love with books since I first went to a library and discovered the magic. I like having them around to dip into, to revisit my adventures, to be taken away when the world gets over whelming. I went to Paddington 2 by myself last night and was reminded how much can be given, what worlds come alive, from one persons story, from ink on paper that sears its way into your heart and becomes part of you. I have found myself re collecting old volumes, and finally FINALLY dragged up an old bookshelf from the basement to the living room and started filling it. Carl Sandburg, Marge Piercy, Shakespeare, Paddington, Jane Austen, Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan.......the old 50s girl books that I cherish. De- clutter? Why should I de -clutter-it made me lost and sad and lonely. Every time I come down the stairs I see my books, and my Little Prince stuffed toy, my Winnie the Pooh, my Paddington and my heart is whole.
Thursday, January 11, 2018
But that ease has given me a new outlook has shown me to DO WHAT I LOVE-regardless of outcome. To not care if it brings in income or that others may praise me or that I can label myself by my accomplishments. I now do the things I love because they fill me with joy, because when I am acting, creating art, reading a play, singing doing voice work I am whole, I am ME and that is, I think, the best we can wish for.
So here is my fav subject-old slavic women,working and living ordinary lives and leaving extraordinary marks on all sorts of lives-in humble pencil on a garbage bag....and I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! May you do something today that fills your soul, may you realize the blessing it is that you just ARE.
Sunday, November 12, 2017
Where the hell does that come from???? Puritanical values have seeped into my psyche. I must really look at this......and maybe have the biggest piece of cake-marble-a corner piece- and enjoy every single indulgent, glorious bite...
Saturday, November 11, 2017
Tuesday, November 7, 2017
So with that in mind, I am back to drawing what makes my soul light-ladies in aprons working on everyday stuff-this lady is taking the cover off the rising bread. I can smell the yeasty dough, I can feel the stickiness, I can taste it warm from the oven slathered with butter from the covered brown butter crock in my grandmas kitchen...and those memories are the ones that save my soul when I think I can't go on.....
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
I am working with brown paper bags and charcoal and memories.........there is so much loss in my soul that feel as if I am a shadow walking through the world. Nothing loud or fun or bright is stirring me, but I find comfort in these lined faces coming to gentle life in pencil. I like the faded quality, the hauntedness of the image..its about all I can handle at the moment...this comforts me