July 28th 2008
Sometimes I get stuck in a rut thinking what am I trying to accomplish-and there's the rub-doing something for the sheer sake of doing something seems so undervalued. I am always looking for the profit-for the payoff. What if , in life ,we could just BE without weighing where it is going to get us. Food for thought. I wish I could retrain my thoughts in this direction. I saw my art thru another,s eyes and my mind started asking me why I even tried. It looked so amateurish-so well, simple and silly. Could I settle for the pay off of the love I feel while i do this. If I could would that bleed over into my life and suddenly every moment would be bliss because there would be no expectations and therefore no disappointments. What is it we are all striving for if not to feel content with where we are. And why is it so hard to do that? What forces us to try and value everything we do...maybe it is just me..why do I feel so guilty then for indulging in this and why is hobby such a bad word? Why do we search for someone else to put value on us instead of valuing ourselves.....

July 22,2008
I love painting. I love it. Nothing in the world compares to being in the zone . I could spend just hours doing my thing, but the family the dog the laundry keep piling up. Well, they all add to my dreams and my visions so I can't complain. Its all one.

July 14, 2008

I have just figured out why people pay to have a studio-so that when there pencil is poised above the page and the music is playing and the mind and hand are wandering into that wonderful zen like place and all creation is swirling around you ready to channel-your beloved family won't come home from Burger King announcing they have the new apple fries and isn't that cool and turn off the music and procede as if no great worldly epic masterpeices were about to be made. JEEESH!!!
And that is how reality smacks you upside the head...........

July 11, 2008

Sometimes you have to wonder..what is the point?? and yet you still continue. I wonder if any one has the ambition and belief every morning-to spring out of bed and not question yourself or feel foolish to try what you have in your heart??? and yet i can't help feeling its in ones heart for a reason, dreams cannot be there just to cause you pain. Or is it the way we view it?? Ahh, theres the rub..why is it so easy to not believe and why are people so eager to support your fears and worries? Why are we wired that way..and how can we unwire that without moving to a cave on a desert island where no one can influence what you really feel is true.

July 9th 2008

We had one heck of a storm today which was great. I love painting in the gloom there is something kind of magic about it. I worked on this canning lady and last night looked at it and her face was awful!!! So today I just forgot about working on a FACE and worked on the shadows and the contrasts and the shapes and it got alot better. I think the more familiar I think I am with something the less I look at the details-it can surprise you how new everything looks if you open your mind and stop assuming things.....about things..and yourself..very freeing

July 4th 2008

Remember the first days of falling in love? That heady, giddy feeling that seeped into your whole self and took over any sense of sanity you may have previously had??? That is how I feel when I see a really good, lined, lived- in face. It is hard to not whip out the camera or to stare anf I want to shout your face, your face!!!!!!!! Its a loony thing but one that is a huge blessing for there is beauty in every one you meet and a huge amount of inspiration ...and a story told between you and the gorgeous face before you-silently!!!







Acrylic on 8 x 10 canvass board