Thursday, July 23, 2009

I have been running around thinking if I do more things will come to me. The car needed something done to it and I felt that it was somehow my fault that the universe was punishing me. Somewhere, somehow the idea that I am not enough is so deep seeded in me that it rears its ugly head without me knowing, or despite my efforts. I see how I set myself up and yet somehow feel incapable of overcoming it. It is like a little fight in my soul with the good part yelling out for relief-and then I realize that it is all a part of me and I must embrace both sides in order to be whole. I must nurture the tender loving side because the dark can defeat it so easily. Why is it we don't rise against the tyrants? I think of the times when someone said something hurtful, or did something really awful and the fear of telling the truth was less than the overwhelming fear of the person. Why is that -these are questions I take way to seriously...maybe it is time to just let go and forget about the look of it and just live-

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