Monday, January 19, 2015

I only had a number 2 pencil and a few minutes, but I like the way it turned out.  I have no idea why I am doing this.  I just know it helps a bit to write and draw.  It makes me forget myself for a while and that is a relief.  I would like to forget myself,  I would like to find a way to dump all the crap that keeps beating at my door.  I do know, thought, steps to take to keep it at bay.  Exercise really helps, eating well helps going OUTSIDE helps.  We walked around bredesen yesterday,and that was fun.  The sun was out , it was warm-well, warm for Jan in MN..  I wonder how many many miles I have logged around that park.  How many books on tape I have gone through.  I bets its hundreds.

This daily drawing has given me this weird detachment from the outcome.  I start to look at shapes and shadows instead of what the object is.  It makes it more interesting and less painful.  I am lucky, I get to do this and I am sitting  near a window in my own house with the sun shing on stained glass that I made.

I wonder why that is never enough.

I think we need to train ourselves to be okay with that.   just the being.

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