Friday, January 9, 2015

Today's quick sketch-a friends gorgeous face.  I like how its coming out of the shadows into the light.  That's how i feel lately-coming out into the light, it is a long hard process, but there are times of great fun and laughter.  I went to  a show last night that someone I had not seen in years was doing.  It was great, so much fun.  We laughed and then we cried.  It was about  very tough, loving, influential nun on St Pauls West Side.    At one point she said she will go home and before she went to bed she would pray for us.  Now I am a committed agnostic, but it melted something sharp and cold inside me, it made me cry-what for?  I don't know...the thought that someone cared enough for another human being to just love them , that someone would actually pray FOR you, no strings attached....the fact that here was a friend who I hadn't seen in years and yet it was like yesterday.......that we all sat at the table after the show and laughed until we cried and it didn't matter-we were who we were.  Which reminds me yesterday morning I woke up and for about three seconds I lost my identity-I simply was-no past no present, no worries, no voice telling me what an incredible awful fuck I was, just this suspended feeling of...not empty...just was scary and at the same time so wonderful.  I have never felt that before.  It was an incredible gift, it went beyond this plane.  I hope I can keep recalling that was healing

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