Sept 5 2008

Had an interesting talk last night about what we do to let ourselves 'deserve' to do what we love. That somehow we all felt there must be an element of sweat or payment or sacrifice before we get to do/buy/get what we want. Does it feel wasteful to go to a museum do my art see a movie? I used to feel it was, or that it must be a 'special' occasion. I even feel guilty when I read because aren't I just wasting time. Then the other night I was loading the dish washer and feeling harried and harassed and that I had to get this done to get on to.....what..it stopped me dead. Get on to what...to where..where did I think I had to Is there someplace I feel that I am SUPPOSED to be something somewhere I am suppose to land and then I am done, I have won the game. I think I am going to take my toys and play in another game for awhile-just a place where I do what I and when I want be who I am and not care. What a release-what if I just had to be here now.......and the next second...and the next....

September 4th 2008

What Doesn't Count...

I have been working on this little book project which follows the fairy godmother character and a friend of mine on a little journey. I made the fairy godmother all be hand-no machine for me...I had so much fun-such sheer joy doing this . One reason because I hope it will bring a little smile to someone who needs it but the other was the sheer fun of doing something for fun-not for wondering how I can profit from it or could I market it or am I good enough just for the joy of making things. In fact I think I will have a business that says just that-Melinda Kordich:
I make things. At the same time I just finished a landscape that I really like and since I was on a self imposed time frame to get this done it just flew out of me.......meaning I didn't agonize over it. I just painted. The only complaint I have is there just isn't enough time-and really isn't that the BEST thing you could imagine from your work.

Sept 2, 2008

Oh blessed routine!!! Up at 530-work out,get kids up, make breakfast, drive to school and back home to paint. Man that feels good. Whipped out this little 6x6 this morning.
I don't let myself think because I am working on this other really involved project so I just forge ahead and paint. I also actually used some paint instead of being cheap and trying to save by using just a bit....and it works-boy, using a glob is really great, it really makes a difference-who knew?? I love not agonizing over a painting but just throwing it out there. That seems to be the most magic way to do it-talk about living in the moment....if we could do that with everything in life we would be so rich and content!!! I may even go back to putting things on ebay-its fun when they sell and who cares if they don't?? (Well, yes I do but since I don't have to see the peoples faces or hear their comments it is almost painless)

August 27th 2008

I have spent all day in a little bit of heaven because I am creating a book for a friend and it is so much fun-I have also made a stuffed fairy godmother for her-it is featured in the book. So surrounded by every messy thing you can think of glue gun, sequins, glitter, paints ,paper, pens, color pencils, glitter glue I am happy happy happy!!! The only thing I have to do now is figure how to get text onto a picture, doesn't that SOUND easy?? It seems to me that all you would do is photo shop the art and start writing in the spaces you would like to write. Apparently, however it is easier to win eight gold medals in the Olympics than it is for the computer to work in the most logical way one can think of. What the heck????????????? Oh, this little guy I did yesterday and I learned a new lesson-I am so cheap I paint with as little paint as possible and it never works-when will I learn to squeeze out paint as though I were a millionaire?

August 26, 2008

How often do I censor myself in my life, in my work, in my wants?? It has been an interesting question for me because it is what I feel needs to change and grow-that honoring that part of me that seems foolish or irrelevant, the art projects that seem crafty and there fore not as valuable must be addressed and looked at. There is so much I feel I want to do but somehow I have taken another(or should I say another s) path. I overheard a conversation today that made me want to rush over and put in my two cents-a young girl was questioning her right to pursue what her career dream was because of " all the competition out there" and "who am I to think I can do that" "how can I apply for that job-there are so many others with more credits on their resume". Yes it may be true but there is only one YOU-one way YOU see it-one way YOU experience it. Just because you have a peice of paper saying you have gradutated from whatever does not mean you have made it-and just because you don't doesn't mean you can't. It appalls me how brainwahed I am with all this. It is hard to seperate the beliefs and creedo of the tribe from what you actually believe. I so blindly follow those rules and regulations that somehow we all agreed to. I want to break those rules and not worry about it. I want my instincts of what is right for ME to over ride what I think I SHOULD do or be.....

August19 2008

I should stop listening to Leonard Cohen. His music overtakes me and sends me on little side tours. So this is yet another rendition of Dance Me to the end of Love-which is an incredibly beautiful song with so many images, incredible poetry..and such richness that you tend to drift into the words and stay there for awhile. What is the difference between illustration and art? So many of the artists I adore were labeled illustrators, as if there were a whole different island that those people had to live on -which island would I choose? Do I have to choose an island? Do I have to choose a label? What if in trying to cultivate a voice I find I am Sybil..and I like it...

August 16, 2008

Okay it has been a million and five years and I have missed this. Not only because it allows me to dump some of my thoughts but the whole process is very satisfying. I have long, long been an admirerer of Arthur Rackman's art-just one of the great old illustrators who I thought I would grow up to be-oh, let's face it I STILL think I am going to grow up to be one. Dreams don't die, even though at times we shove them down, trample on them and carry the broken sharp edges around with us for years. I have come to think that instead of that, perhaps it is just time to take them out and play. there comes a time whien you are just so damn sick of the nos and the you aren't good enoughs that you just start thinking--why the hell not?? What is the measure of success-doing what you love or having it all-well, it would be nice if one creates the other but why stop if all it does is fill you with joy????? Aren't we all Frank Sinatra (or insert you fav singer) in the shower??

Watercolor 8 x 10